I had just finished reading blogs by my writer friend Jamie aka MS tripper and I wrote this she encouraged me to start my own blog so I'm posting my commemt or first real blog here: well I'm taking in sniffley sucks of air while lowering my lower eyelids so my tears don't spill out and so the people here wont catch me yet again cryin and snifflig at my laptop. Quick, gotta think of something funny so I can chuckle or sing a few song lyrics or the jigg is up and I'm caught.... again You always move me :o) whew I made it the tears are receding whew and no one knows they were there dodged that barage of are you ok Ory's and no one is aware that I'm a sappy bleeding stroke surviving pushover. I lost a bunch of weight since the stroke. Largely from lack of appetite I'vw always been a greedy eater; my sisters used to call me Mickey; as in Mickey likes it, Mickey will eat anything and I was a plump kid that didn't trim down until spent a summer in Aruba with my grandmother I couldn't eat while I was there. I'd say maybe it was the heat but Aruba's not that hot. There's always a trade wind blowing cool oceanic breezes over the island so you're always comfortable even with no AC as in addition, there' 0% humidity, Aruba is a beautiful arrid little island. I csimply ouldn't eat chicken( and she almost always made chicken) that I saw with my own eyes to be recently alive, clucking and picking at things. As soon as I'd see the chickens I instantly befriended themand I could never eat friend :oP I couldn't eat anything. So I lost weight and grew two inches though I was still short and have been 5'2" all my life,except obviously for my baby years. now snce the stroke I don't eat and I don't know why I do know it's not the chickens this time Weirdest thing though is even without an appetite I almost always crave gummy worms. I can eat them as a meal these days. what's that about? I ate them through rehab and maybe they'll in some small part define my post stroke life. I should call these the gummy worm year. When I was in subacute rehab one of my closest girlfriends got me about 5 or 6 bags of gummy worms. I had the neon sour gummy worms that were and still are my favorite and the regular translucent sweet gummy worms. that night I got comfortable in bed which was always hard to do but I did it. I opened all the bags with my teeth and deposited them all around me making sure the were within easy reach for my right arm. I turned on my light and read a book I had gotten out of the library and I read and I was surrounded by gummy worms and that was, up until that time the happiest I'd felt since the stroke. of course I cried a little but I was lauging at the sheer silliness of the scene if I could have walked in on me I would have laughed to see really happy, crying happy hemiparetic young woman with wrist splint, elbow splint and boot on in bed reading a good book covered on both sides with gummy worms but man was I happy :o) that was the best night I'd had in a series of crummy nights up until that time I still smile when I think of it and the sheer implausability that gummy worms could have made me so happy. I guess it's just a strange thing looked at in just the right way that became beautiful huh? :o) gummy worms will forever be special to me.
Thanks for writing Jamieand please don't ever stop. You are truly gifted, you always move me and inspire meand it's true i am very moveable but not everything or everyone moves me but you do and I'm eternally grateful that I met you through the modern day miracle that is fb :"o) best
The image of you breaking the bag of gummy bears open with your teeth and surrounding yourself with them AND a book...and that being the happiest you were since the stroke--pretty much sealed the deal...you are my twin!
Posted by: UglyLikeMe | 01/10/2011 at 11:44 AM
thanks Jamie :o) I really identified with so many things you've written in your blogs so twin...? yeah I'd buy that :o) It was a really good idea for me to do thisthanx
Posted by: Ocornett | 01/10/2011 at 11:59 AM